The TRUE last battle
by The Stitched Ninja
Summary: HPDM YaoiSlash, just a little thing i thought up and thought it would be funny so i wrote it. This is how the final battle REALLY happened. No flashy wand waving nor stand off...just a Vampire and his...er...blood toy? Who's slightly insane! again, HPDM!


He really didn't tell anyone, how could he? "Hey guys! Guess what? When I came into my inheritance, I became a blood sucking monster! Isn't that swell? HA HA HA!!!" Plus, it wouldn't really go over well with the whole, "I'm the Savior of the Wizarding World-and I just happen to be a vampire!"

So he kept it a secret, telling no one. Not even Hermione or Ron, his best friends! Well, not rightly a complete secret….for one soul knew, and that one soul was the last and first person he wanted to know!

If you haven't guessed, the young vampire is Harry Potter, and only one person knew he was a vampire…That one person was his hated school boy rival, Draco Malfoy.

Harry had gotten into the habit of taking "walks" and actually feeding at night. Well, one night while on a "walk" Harry had spotted his enemy in a glade, pulling petals from a flower and mainly off in his own little world. The Savior of the World just stood there, not believing his eyes. Draco Malfoy had been missing for MONTHS, wanted in almost all of Britain, and here he was…admiring a FLOWER!

That's when the feeling of hate and anger overtook Harry. Here was the boy that was the reason for Dumbledore being dead! Here was the reason why so many people have died! Just sitting there, it was like he was just begging to be killed…. 'And I will grant his wish!' Harry thought angrily, charging at his enemy with all his vampire speed.

But a voice made him stop short of reaching his goal…

That voice belonged to Draco Malfoy, and it said: "So you're a vampire, huh? Cool, I've always thought vampires were beautiful."

Harry had stopped, mid-dive, onto Malfoy and bleeding him dry through the neck.

Malfoy looked up at Harry, his eyes no longer cold and emotionless. "You got this new found gift from you mother, you know…she was a tuned vampire, and that's why she was allowed into Hogwarts. It wasn't that she was a witch, no…she was a vampiress…"

Harry stuttered, "H-How d'you…know?"

Malfoy gave a small smile, "I'm actually very well informed when I'm not under HIS control…"

Harry just stood there, not able to move, half hunched over to go for the kill. He stayed like this for a long while, not believing what he was hearing…Finally, in a show of his exhaustion, Harry fell to his knees in front of his supposed enemy, staring at the blonde boy, who was staring right back.

"You're hungry, aren't you?" Malfoy finally asked after a long pause of them just staring at each other.

The dark haired male could only nod.

Malfoy gave a nod, looking down and closing his silver gaze, "I thought so, you're eyes are so deep a red…here, drink." In a graceful movement Harry had never known possible, Malfoy leaned back, lifted his head, and looked off to his left, giving Harry perfect access to his pale and slender neck. "I don't mind….it'll probably be erotic. Plus, I'm bored." A slight mad gleam entered silver eyes as they looked off to the side.

Blood, had never tasted so good…..not to Harry.

XXxHp&DmxXX

"You ready Harry?" Ginny asked her once boyfriend.

They were all worried about the dark haired seventeen years old. Ever since that one night when he had returned after many hours in a strange daze several weeks ago. Harry knew he should have told them what happened, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. For some reason Harry felt as if he should keep it all to himself even if it worried his family.

And now it was too late…just through those doors were the Dark Lord…and the final battle.

After seeing Draco (Harry had stopped trying to call him "Malfoy" long ago) Harry had found new motivation. In only a few weeks time he had found all the Horcruxesthat were left. One in Ollivander's, another in Godric's Hollow, and another in the old Riddle home. The locket had been destroyed, and then the final one, the snake, was clutched in Harry's hands-bleeding and dead.

They had snuck into the Death Eater strong hold, unnoticed, and killed the scouts. There seemed to be some type of party or celebration going on so Voldemort and his lackeys were unaware they were about to be attacked.

Briefly Harry wondered if he would meet Draco in there, if he would have to fight the other boy. Harry hoped not…Ever since that one fateful night Harry couldn't seem to get the other male out of his mind. It was sick to think about it, but…Harry kind of has this feeling that he was attracted to the blonde!

"Harry?" Ginny asked again, shaking Harry's shoulder slightly.

Harry also wondered WHEN Ginny had become so annoying! "I'm ready." He answered none-the-less. They all nodded and in one fluid motion, they pushed the doors open and rushed in…Only to receive the shock of their lives!

Harry felt the monster that had once reacted to Ginny now give a growl when it saw the state of the room.

It was all decorated in the lush Arabian Knights theme---complete with a belly dancer….DRACO!

Lone clapping sounded as Draco danced for the gathered Death Eaters, "Very good, Potter." Voldemort laughed, leaning back into his mountains of pillows, looked very much like a king.

Harry couldn't take his eyes off Draco, who looked expressionless with dead eyes as he danced.

Voldemort seemed to notice where Harry's gaze had wondered, "Ah, yes…My most loyal servant, but not of his own will."

Draco ended his dance, bowed, and then seductively walked to sit beside Voldemort, ignoring everything in the room.

"I believe you know him?" Voldemort continued, "Draco Malfoy, he was your enemy in Hogwarts, am I right?" He laughed, "Yes, well…you can thank that to me, dear boy. Thanks to Lucius, Draco's good-for-nothing father, and a forbidden spell---I have my perfect servant. Loyal, does whatever I say, beautiful! Really Draco is the perfect killing machine." Voldemort chuckled, reaching out and grabbing Draco's chin to make the blonde look up at him.

"He had been under my control this whole time, can you believe it? Potter?" Voldemort turned to sneer at Harry, "Well-almost…For two hours each night he is completely free from my power. Usually I leave him magically bound to a tree somewhere to wait out the two hours. But that changed a while ago for he was bitten by a vampire, filthy creatures…Alas!"

'Magically bound to a tree?' Harry thought in wonder, remembering back to that fateful night…

Somewhere the clock chose at that moment to chime the hour, making Voldemort smirk. "And it seems you are just in time to see the real Draco Malfoy…" Everyone turned their attention to the blonde on the cushion of pillows as he gave a loud grunt and stared clutching his head.

"Sure, not under my control, he is wild, never speaks, and is very rebellious…but I like his beauty." Voldemort carried on as if there wasn't a person withering in pain beside him.

Finally, after a few more minuets, Draco gave a loud sigh and lifted his head, looking at his surroundings. Everyone could tell the difference right away. Before Draco was expressionless and his eyes seemed to be the ones of a dead corpse…but now, they were alive and bright and shined with life and feeling. Even his being was different, before he moved seductively, yet stiff as if he didn't know exactly how to move…now he looked softer, more confused, and if possible…more exotic in that outfit of his.

"You could almost say," Voldemort gave an evil laugh as he reached out and gripped Draco by the chin painfully, "we will be together till death do us part."

Draco glared at Voldemort then promptly spit in the Dark Lords fact.

"Why you little--!"Voldemort growled, slapping Draco and standing to loom over the smaller of the two.

That is where Harry snapped! How dare this bloody supposed "Dark Lord" strike HIS Draco!!! HIS! Growling low in his throat, Harry sent a silent killing spell towards them, not even thinking through his action.

But, unfortunately, Harry was quite a far way from Voldemort, thus the evil Lord saw the curse coming his way before it hit him. This gave the Dark Lord just enough time to react and save himself…by grabbing Draco from the floor by the arm and holding the younger male in the way of the killing curse.

Harry's heart gave a silent cry as he watched Draco's back arch and his mouth open in a silent scram. Something in Harry broke right at that moment. It wasn't the normal love-y dove-y crap you see in the movies and read in those crappie romance novels. Harry wasn't IN LOVE with Draco, but they had practically grown up together! And now, he was gone…and Harry had been the one to kill him.

The blonde body that had once been Draco Malfoy fell to the ground at Voldemort's feet, his eyes open in horror and once again dead like they were when he was under that forbidden spell that Voldemort had ranted about.

Voldemort stared down at the body at his feet before shrugging and stepping over it with an insane laugh, "There goes my most loyal! Guess I'll just have to make another one! I was always partial to red heads." He sneered, sending a grin at Ginny, who glared at the Dark Lord, but unconsciously moved to be behind Harry.

"Over my dead body." Harry growled out, filled to the brim with new determination. Draco will not have died in vain!

The red eyed monster that used to be human glared at Harry, "That can be arranged, Potter!" Lord Voldemort then raised his wand and made to shout out a curse, but was stopped short as a large blade suddenly shot out of his stomach.

There was a shocked silence as everyone looked on. Even Voldemort couldn't believe it, and it showed by how he lightly touched the blade erupting out of his stomach.

"You said, "Till death do us part"! But what happens if death has already parted one of us and they still live?" A voice said behind Voldemort.

Harry couldn't help but smile at the familiar voice.

"The spell you used to make me into the perfect servant split me in two. The servant you always wanted and the real me." The voice said as pale hands raised them to rest on the evil ones shoulders, "So when that killing curse hit me, it killed one of us and left the other—total luck that it left me."

Slowly a figure emerged from behind Voldemort and stood in front of the Dark Lord, its silver eyes gleaming with live and slight madness.

"Draco…" Harry whispered, still smiling even as the blonde figure practically SKIPPED up to him.

One would have to be blind not to notice the differences between the two Draco's they had witnessed. While one was lifeless and controlled, the other was full of life and free will…it also didn't hurt that now there was a crescent shaped scar like Harry's either.

"Hi-ya, Harry!" Draco stated loudly, wrapping his arms around the taller boys neck in a hug.

"You okay?"

Draco shrugged, but didn't let go of the other boy, "Fine, a little tired and all that, could you please finish off ol' Voldy-Moldy so we can go take a nap? I'm thinking the 20 hours worth type of nap!" The blonde's features turned to one of day dreaming.

The Gryffindor Wonder Child blinked down at the shorter male in shock, but a slow smirk appeared after a while, "We?"

Draco gave a nod, "You're hungry…" He looked up at Harry, "I can tell. You came here to finish it---so finish it!"

"Harry? What the bloody hell is going on?" Ron practically screamed at his friend.

Harry knew everyone, even the Death Eaters, were waiting with baited breath about what will happen next. Everyone but Draco and him self were clueless about what was really happening-and maybe Voldemort…but he was dying.

Without saying a word, Harry crossed the room and leaned down till he could whisper into the former Dark Lords ear, "Don't worry…I'll take care of Draco…just like I did when I first bit him."

Voldemort glared up at Harry, finally knowing the complete truth, before the killing curse finally hit him and he was sent to the lowest pit in all hell.

Done with his deed, and not knowing what else to really do, Harry walked back to Draco, who immediately wrapped his arms around Harry's neck again, and just stood there with everyone else….in his own from of shock.

"Okay…I change my mind!" Draco suddenly spoke, looking up at Harry with crazed madness, "a full three day's worth of sleep, feeding, and you raping me! YAY!"

"I'm not going to rape you." Harry grumbled out, but allowed Draco to start pulling him towards the door.

"Yeah, sure….that's what they ALL say!" Draco giggled, completely ignoring everything else. "I won't protest you know what they say? You can't rape the willing!"

"HARRY!" Hermione shouted, stopping them from exiting, "What about the remaining Death Eaters? Or the final Battle? OR your responsibility?!"

Harry looked back at everyone, "Round them up, then put them in cells to wait for their trial. Death Eater's shouldn't put up much of a fight, and if they do….well—"

"Why don't you just point out the obvious?" Draco interrupted, moving so he was chest to chest with Harry, completely oblivious on how this made everyone uncomfortable.

Harry sent him a questioning look.

"Well, who just defeated their Lord? Us, to there for we could easily kill them. Don't put up a fight or we'll come after you." The blonde stated simply, then turned to the gathered Order and Harry's army. "If you haven't noticed, we just fought the final battle, or whatever….Voldy-Moldy is dead and all the Death Eaters are all here, just sitting around waiting to be captured. You can try to spiff all this up so it's exciting and all that, or just let the Prophet do that, but this is what really happened. No big deal…now, if you would excuse us, I want to get raped by the Boy-Who-Just-Couldn't-Stay-Dead."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Who said anything about me raping you?"

"I did…just a bit ago, are you suffering from memory loss?" Draco blinked up at the dark haired boy. "Maybe we should check into the nearest Healer Station or something, get you checked out before we start raping each other. Though, I am hungry….and you are too. Let's just hope the blood helps with the memory."

The blonde continued to babble as he made his way out the door, Harry slowly trailing behind him like he had a choice in the matter. The assembled Death Eater's just gave up, not seeing the point in fighting when they had no leader, but a few put up a fight—they were quickly dealt with. The Prophet ended up making a whole big deal about the final battle, exaggerating it to the point where anything they said really didn't happen. The whole world rejoiced that the wicked old Voldemort was finally dead and they didn't have to live in fear again….

And Harry and Draco raped each other happily ever after….

HP&DM

Disclaimer: I own nothing…wish I did, but I doubt that'll ever happen…

Warning: Slight slash…kay, well—it was intended! And it's unbeta'd, so that explains a lot of things. Other's also apply such as AU, Yaoi, BL, mention of rape (though that isn't really a BAD thing, as Draco has pointed out) and this is completely pointless. It's a "crack" one-shot, if you will. Wrote it…and now I'm wondering what I was on…laughs

Reasonings: well, I kept reading how the final battle was this whole big thing and all that and I thought to myself "What if….?" This is unlikely to happen, but if it did it'd ROCK! Lol, just thought that I'd write it.

Please Read and Review!


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